you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
