I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
