Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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