He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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