I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
