another moral hangover. fuck.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
