32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
