My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
