O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
