i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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