do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
