You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
