She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
