So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
