just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
