We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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