Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
