Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
