Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
