I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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