U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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