Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
