I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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