The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
