She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
