Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
