im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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