so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
false alarm. still invincible.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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