Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
