I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
