she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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