So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
