wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
