I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think a kid would responsible me up
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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