ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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