I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
smell my finger.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There's always time for handjobs
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
