you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
