I love black thongs
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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