I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
from now on my penis is your penis
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
