I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Come see our sink grown plant.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
