I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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