4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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