please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
