remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
