What did we do last night that was yellow?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
