T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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