wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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