This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We got so high we made milksteak
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
