how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
