Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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