I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
