Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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