Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
