I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
