12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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